thoughts
curious philosophy
From the Rear
Bumper Sticker Philosophy
Calling for "sensible" bumper stickers the following findings are offered:
- The gene pool could us a little chlorine
- Forget about World Peace ...Visualize using your turn signal
- As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools
- It’s as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you
- Smile -- it’s the second best thing you can do with your lips
- Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?
- Time is the best teacher; unfortunately, it kills all its students
- Warning: Dates in calendar are closer than they appear
- Consciousness: that annoying time between naps
- Be nice to your kids. They’ll choose your nursing home
- Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
- Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
- Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggie!" ... until you can find a rock
- Consumerism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy with what they have
- Support bacteria -- they’re the only culture some people have
From the Side
Side Road Thoughts
Often called folk or pop philosophy, being stuck on the side road of thought applies:
-
Before you criticize people, you should walk a mile in their shoes
That way, when you criticize them...
You are a mile away from them...
And you have their shoes
- One nice thing about egotists: They don’t talk about other people
- The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
- Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm
- The older you get, the better you realize you were
- If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something
- Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy
- Black hoes are where God divided by zero
- Many people quit looking for work when they find a job
- Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday
-
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day
Questions from the side of the road
Responses and explanations to these questions are appreciated
and will appear as we find them.
If you have an answer, send it to our
email box.
- Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
-
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
Answers- The #2 pencil was first identified as "number two", in a study commissioned by the government de-cluttering-of-stuff-group. The multi-year study examined various possible writing implements. While the recommendation was accepted to change the name of the "number two" pencil to "#2", the first item in the study turned out to be nothing more than a pointy stick. Unfourtunately, a small but vocal group adopted the pointy stick , announcing it to be "stylish for the US" -- this of course, was later shortened to "stylus", the device now used by PDAs. (ph0rman)
- If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
- If you ate pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?
-
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Answers- yes (ph0rman)
- If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
- Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
- What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
- How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
-
Okay, so what is the speed of dark?
Answers- 98.9±0.3 m/s (freakface)
